I just feel like i'm loaded with question marks, all sorts of thought or just CONFUSION!! It seems as though i've never gone through such feeling in my life where i had been so troubled in trying to make up my own decision (okay maybe over exaggerated). Trying to give myself a reason for going, or not to go. Is it what I want to do?Or is it what God wants me to do?Why does it seem so hard all of a sudden, but i know that ultimately it's up to God, whether or not God is calling me to go or not to go. Technically, why should i GO on a short term missions trip when i'm surrounded with people around me with signs stuck on their forehead labelling "i'm going to hell", and yet i'm sitting here doing nothing thinking about whether or not i should spend 3 weeks of my summer going to a foreign place for missions. Still, acting out the same mission: “GO therefore and make disciples of all the nations” (Matthew 28:19). Yea, say I am GOING, stay there for 3 weeks, impact some lives, change lives, convert them to Christianity, but, ultimately, we leave... and then what? It's kinda like planting a plant, and watering it and nourishing it for 3 continuous weeks, and then one day, you stop.... and let the plant slowly droop down and dry out.
So why not take the opportunity to do the same thing in where you are, the place where God has placed you in, the place where you go everyday, the people you pass by everyday, the homeless person you pass by everyday. Why is it that i'm taking so much time to decide whether or not i should spend xxx amount of money on an air ticket to GO somewhere else to do the same thing where i can effectively do so right here, right now.
Ultimately, is God calling me to GO?or is He using this so called "confusion stage" to tell me the sense the urgency ...and to GO and make disciples of all the nations, wherever you are. Ultimately, everyone is called to serve and to act out the great commission. The first line of the Apostle's creed says:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord

Our father is almighty, he doesn't NEED us to serve, but WANTS us to serve. And in doing so, we should obey to whatever God is calling us to do and to GO and make disciples of all the nations.

I know God has placed me here for a reason and I know God has placed the people around me for a reason..and i think i know that God has placed this burden in my heart for a reason......

"As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead" James 2:26

that's it for now...

Verse 1:
Let everything that breathes
Praise You
The earth, the sky, the sea
Praise You
Just as nature shows to us
Your blessing
Soon I find my heart
Confessing
Chorus:
My love is not my own
It all belongs to You
And after all You've done the least that I
Can do
Is live my life
In every part
Only to please my Father's heart
Verse 2:
Love is all You need
To heal us
Flowing from the heavens, Jesus
And with one voice we'll sing
Together
And this will be our song
Forever
(Chorus)

Such a beautiful song.....living my life, in every part only to please my father's heart.
I really pray that I won't lose track, that i will be able to live my life, in every part only to please my father's heart. Especially during summer, where i seem to find so much time in hand, spent on doing...nothing??
I miss playing the piano alot.

 28 Do you not know?
       Have you not heard?
       The LORD is the everlasting God,
       the Creator of the ends of the earth.
       He will not grow tired or weary,
       and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
       and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
       and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40: 28-31

As we put our hope and trust in the Lord, we are carried along by His strength and not our own.

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I get dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Just two more exams, then i'll be done. =) Thank you God for blessing me with school, and i'm starting to learn to cherish my blessings, and realize that it is such a priviledge to be in school. Then i'm DONE!!!!!!! =)